HEALING IS NOT A LINEAR JOURNEY

 

Over the last few months, I’ve undergone numerous health tests. Although I had a sense that my body was struggling, evident through various symptoms, seeing the results in black and white was a bit shocking. Some of the results truly surprised me. The experience brought on a whirlwind of emotions—shock, disbelief, relief, anxiety, joy, intrigue, and, of course, grief.

After spending some time processing the situation and gathering information, I began to reflect on what it would have been like to have had this knowledge ten years ago when my health first started to decline. With such a dysregulated nervous system and a lack of connection to my body, I would have been utterly despairing, terrified to my core. At that time, the state of being frozen (functional freeze) felt like home to me.

Today, I feel proud of how I’ve handled this situation, the decisions I’ve made, the people I’ve turned to for support, and, most importantly, that it all came about organically—I simply followed my needs and my heart. Reaching this point took time. In the early stages of my journey with my nervous system, I had to rely on my brain—observing, thinking, analysing, and rethinking, even charting things out, I didn’t have access to my feelings; they felt like a big ball of chaos. As for my needs—was I even allowed to have them? What did they even mean?

The healing journey is not linear, so unique to everyone, but I truly believe it often leads us to finally meet our authentic selves.

If you’re struggling, please, never forget to believe in your journey! Every step has its own purpose in a bigger picture