Coming To Safety

The past week and this week were intense. Really intense. I received answers I had been longing for, for more than ten years. And ten years is a big part of a lifetime. I don’t even want to look at the exact number right now. It holds too much — physical pain, emotional pain, being labeled as too sensitive, overthinking, over-worrying, over-anxious. Being told that nothing is wrong with you. Being told to grown up and move on. But I couldn’t move on. I couldn’t move on because the physical and emotional pain was too strong. Sometimes my legs literally wouldn’t move. My symptoms shrank my life into a very small world. I still had a world, but it became so limited — what I could eat, where I could go, how long I could stand, what I could tolerate. There were days when I could open only one eye, actually it was months... Days when brushing my teeth felt impossible because there was no strengt left in my arms. And still, my lab results said everything was normal. But I felt lik...